Thursday, May 31, 2007
Y My new look + Glenda's 1st Birthday
after going though some rough patchesi, nothing beats sitting down with your loved ones talking and laughing together. smiles*
happy 1st birthday in advance to lil glenda!
omg, she's so cute!
all of us were gathered at uncle gary's this evening, celebrating the little one's 1st birthday. am so glad to see my granny's condition improving slightly too. :) and also, i'm truly happy to see everyone, especially my favourite cousin, jolene. that idiotic woman who always says we've the same blood flowin' in us and yet i'm so short and she's tall. RUBBISH! :(
as expected, i can NEVER run away from the bombarding questions about the Boyfriend. everyone's asking why didn't i bring
anyhows, i feel so relaxed today. talking and laughing. the cute little ones running around the house, and damn, they're so adorable! heehee. jolene and i were chasing after them, especially crystal. man, i love kids! when can i have my own? :p
crystal won't let me take a picture of her, so the video instead. lol! so cute. she's so hyperactive! high sugar level.
that's crystal. little monster! haha.
jolene, kelly, gladys and me! gladys is camera-shy? haha.
gladys and me.
jolene and me! we very pretty hoh? TSK. :x
***
if you've already noticed, YES! i've changed my hair style! i had a tough time deciding whether to chop off my long mane or perm it. in the end, i chose the latter. i don't have the guts to cut short. probably in future i will, but not now. hahahaha.
spent 2 hours and $170 at the saloon this afternoon to get my hair done. i'm pretty satisfied with the results. phew* i was so worried that i'll look horrible with permed hair because of my fat face, but luckily, i still looked... fine. haha!
i know this may sound ironic, but i had the urge to mms marc my new look this afternoon. but i didn't. sigh..
[before] [after]
both taken by my mom. i think the straight hair one looks like Sadako! lol.
right, narcissism acts up after my hair's done. teeeeeheeeeee.
i feel so refreshed after the change! i thought it's gonna be hard to maintain my curls, but well, i think its pretty easy. i don't need and combs or brushes. just my fingers will do! a few bimbotic twirls of the hair and all's done! hahaha.
i just have to get use to this new look of mine now. and who knows one day i might just wanna chop it off again? shrugs*
***
4 years ago, this was published on Teenage Magazine.
tiffy, remember this?!?!?!?!
hahahahaha, that is so ... CLASSIC!
i've threw away this issue, and today uncle gary saw, kept, and gave it to me! LOL!!!!!
look at my HAIR! eew!
***
right, that marks the end of my holiday. it's FRIDAY tomorrow! gotta work, and off to kim's 21st bash! have a great weekend, peeps! :)
Labels: Birthday
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Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Y Hatchbacks Vehicles
everyone's in their holiday mood already. there's only taher, andrew, kenneth and i around in the office right now. most of them are either out doing Sales or on leave. too bad i'm not a confirmed staff yet, if not i'll probably apply leave and have a long weekend getaway or something.
was talking about cars with my colleague today. i was telling him that my dad's planning to get Hyundai Matrix someday, but he was telling me how bad that car is. high fuel consumption, which sucks. since i'll be one of them driving it (heh heh) in future, so i must like the car too, no? i personally prefer hatchback cars. my ideal one will definitely be Volkswagen Beetle, but hell, that one is so darn expensive. so any kind souls out there want to buy that for me on my 21st birthday? actually Nissan March also not bad. heehee.
after surfing sgcarmart, i became more and more car-smart.. HAHA!
hyundai matrix.
my views: exterior is ugly. interior spacious though. high fuel consumption. lousy car in general.
volkswagen beetle
my views: my dream car. 'nuff said.
honda jazz
my views: nice exterior and interior. economic enough, i suppose.
kia picanto
my views: this car is more like a lady car, so kinda out of my family's league. so gyeah.
nissan march
my views: i love the outlook of this!!! my second favourite. :p
proton savvy
my views: malaysia brand. cheap, but low fuel consumption. i find the interior rather 'squarish'. according to my colleague, this car is kinda 没力. haha!
mitsubishi colt.
my views: this is sweet, but definitely costly.
'nuff about the cars dreams. anyway, i feel that, owning a car is a liability, and definitely not an asset. let's just hope i'll pass my TP in October, then heeheeheeheehee. :)
***
notice i've been back in the blogosphere again? well, i won't be blogging like how i did in the past though. blogging is a form of entertainment for me now. haha, right. anyhow, it's VESAK DAY tomorrow! it's TO WOODLANDS for the next couple of days. my baby cousin, glenda's, 1st birthday celebration tomorrow at uncle gary's. and kimmy's 21st birthday bash on friday evening. so, happy holidays! =)
this is kinda random. i think i'm so old. i'm in love with retro and oldies nowadays. eagles!!! the other day when i was singing some oldies at Kbox, kengey they all almost died, no? HAHA! but they're really nice songs ya'll know.
"welcome to the hotel california. such a lovely place..."
sigh, i really miss the good'ol days. meeting up with my favourite girl 7 days a week, for school and for work. acting all cranky and stuffs. hanging out at Sentosa snapping silly pictures. hiding in some japanese machine snapping pictures using OUR camera. our "wedding photo", stuffs like that. i rememeber we were so very gay back then. right larling? darn, we have to relive that and do that again some day!
dont you miss these too, larling?
i don't wanna grow up! :(
***
sigh. alright, i better get back to work, before my work load keeps piling up all over again. hurhur. :)
p.s: you so gonna miss my long straight hair. i'm gonna CHANGE them tomorrow! to what? i still can't decide. we shall see. :)
Labels: Nostalgic, Reviews/Recommendations
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Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Y Long Post
surprisingly, i'm feeling really light hearted today.
lots of knots in my heart were untied, because i've seen and thought things through.
frankly, i feel life's really a choice. you're wondering, how the hell i became so optimistic suddenly huh? people grow, you see. just that, i don't seem to be growing vertically though. :(
i swear i had a tough week mourning about the lost love, which appears to be nothing but a facade. i guess i was too numbed to feel anymore pain. guess it's really over. my heart's really sore right now. nope, he didn't do anything to make things worse. in fact, he did nothing which made things worse! thanks for the wonderful dream though. maybe, we'll meet again. or probably not. ohwells. shrugs*
***
i'm so tired. literally.
it really doesn't pay to be nice. no matter how hard i try to be nice, i'll never be appreciated and will be chucked one side eventually. i once resolved to be selfish, but i always failed to be. i treat people true from my heart, and i'm being treated by them with their ass. why?
my selective memory function keeps bringing vivid images of things i don't wanna be reminded of. sigh* i don't wanna think about you anymore. ohwells.
wipe those tears away and be strong, jo. well, it's because of YOU people who makes me emerged to be so much stronger now. yes, i have to do this. i'm gonna let it go, and try to enrich my life with many many many many better things. :D
i'm going back to the beginning. start all over again. i will continue striving hard to acheive my dreams. i've many dreams wokay. the biggest of all is of cause to settle down with the man of my life at my early 20s, but well, that gotta wait for now..
***
people says, those with flat feet will have a tough life. unfortunately, yours truly has a pair of really flat feet. flat till i can use my foot as a ruler. i'm serious! some traits of flat feeters (according to my aunt who has them too) includes,
- smarter than others (WOOHAAHAAHAA!)
- trips easily (how very true.)
- shoes spoil easily (YES!)
- sole of my heels wears off at one direction; side way (as always)
there's lots more traits which i've forgotten. but having flat feet ain't good at all. :(
***
alright, my life's going back to the beginning. been indulging in books, comics, movies and dramas all over again.
after months of anticipation, #4 is finally released!!! i'm gonna go get it over the Holiday! hurhur. :p
sometimes i wish i could turn back the hands of time. i miss the time when i'm so very gay and carefree. right larling? it's been long.. and i sure do miss that.
oh btw, takuya kimura sure looks friggin' hot in the new Gatsby ad! heehee.
# small tips: when you feel really down in the lumps, GO CLEAN UP YOUR WARDROBE! it always work for me. i've cleaned up my wardrobe umpteen times already. chucked away so much rubbish. and damn, that sure does make me feel fabulous! #
Labels: Inner Intentions, Nostalgic
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Sunday, May 27, 2007
Y Never enough
sometimes, i feel 24 hours a day and 7 days a week is not enough.
5 out of 7 days, 9 hours out of 24 hours in each day, i'm slogging my ass to get paid. that makes up to 45 hours per week. as for the other 75 hours, i'm committed to some other stuffs. and for my saturdays and sundays, they are never enough to fulfil all my agendas.
i've so many to do, yet so little time. why?
there's so many things i want to do. and out of these wants, there's still alot of things which i need to do.
... it's good to be busy though. but definitely not good to always feel tired.
i'm really tired.
and also, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week is never enough for me to think about you.
sigh* i'm feeling so lost.
i miss you.
***
I was sitting on my doorstep,
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,
But I knew I had to do it,
And he wouldn't understand,
So hard to see myself without him,
I felt a piece of my heart break,
But when you're standing at a crossroad,
There's a choice you gotta make.
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.
I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.
Time, time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now.
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
Starts with goodbye,
The only way you try to find,
Moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye,
Na na na na na na na.
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Y Colorgenics Test
You are feeling really miserable at this time and you'd like to form a relationship with someone with whom you could really communicate. At the same time, whoever it may be, that special 'someone' must not conflict with your own belief system or ideals. This makes for tough going - but it would seem that the situation is only transitory. It will soon pass.
Recently you have been experiencing considerable mental anguish and turmoil. You are bored and discontent. Nothing seems to be going right for you. Even your relationships aren't working out and you don't quite know which way to turn.
Nothing seems to be going right for you and you are thwarted every way you turn. You are not at all happy with the situation but it would appear that there is very little that you can do about it at this time. Sit back and let the situation take its course, because at this time you feel that there is nothing you can do to change whatever needs to be changed.
You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.
You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality.
pretty true, i must say.
took this test at http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=16404
Labels: Uncatagorized
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Friday, May 25, 2007
Y Warehouse Sales
what a tiring day at the warehouse sale. stood for 12 hours plus cashiering, with short breaks in between. all of us felt the intense back aching at the end of the day man! i'm gonna apply my bestfriend-during-my-banquet-days, Counter Pain Ointment, all over my body later on before i sleep! it's been long since i used to much energy! totally drained.
well, i met some really terrible Singaporeans today! what a disgrace to us. tsk. anyway, cashiering was pretty fun! i applied what i learnt at OCBC today. other than that, i learnt how to operate both the cashiering and ATM machine. so easy and fun! or probably because i'm smart. :x nevertheless, i think it was a great experience working at the Expo with all my collegues.
ah dong and yun (and joe) came by Expo for the food fair in the evening. i know their main objective was to visit me at work LAH HOH? teehee. :x had dinner with them at the food fair. then they went to shop around, while waiting for me to knock off at 10+ before going home together. shag!
there's not a second went by without you on my mind. suddenly, i feel so lost. i know my recent entries are a little contracdicting, but ohwells, what can i do to get over this heartache?
and so, i broke down tonight.
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Thursday, May 24, 2007
Y Worn out.
i'm totally worn out! Zzz.
instead of the norm, all the executive level staffs went to the Expo today to set up Hall 4B for our warehouse sales starting tomorrow. we began at 9am, and wrapped up everything at 6pm. from an empty warehouse, we filled it with tables, books, etc etc. that was like, whoa.
tagging pricetags, shelfing books, pasting posters, etc. been walking alot, squatting alot, bending alot, aching alot the whole day! i'm totally drained. and tomorrow i gotta be cashier for 12 hours! this is hell man. good thing i'm not down for work over the weekend, so at least i can rest before facing hell again on monday - clearing up. -_-
it feels really different to be at the East side. for lunch, all of us drove to Bedok to have it. the weather's freaking hot! for someone who don't sweat much like me, i perspired a whole damn lot today. and i think stink! haha!
anyhow, lots of NEW titles are going off cheap cheap at the sales, so do come to the Expo over the weekend if you're an avid reader! apart from our book sale, there's the food fair as well as Guardian sales too. heehee.
yesterday, i went to sing Kbox at CCK with kengey, neth and looney. haha! it was a very last minute decision, suggested by yours truly. we sang from 8ish to 11ish, tho our package's till closing. haha, 'cause some of us gotta work next day lah. oh, i've no license, but yesterday i tried manipulating neth's auto-gear lancer for a very short distance! hahahaha. oops.
turned in at 2am last night. ZZZZZZZ.
ahhh. i'm so tired. i think i'll be turning in early tonight, because tomorrow's a long long day.
p.s: i wanted to blog about neth's PICTURES, but i'm darn lazy now. i'll do it next time. :)
p.p.s: i think martin rocks! can't wait to meet up with him and the rest of my classmates! :)
it's marc's birthday tomorrow! happy happy birthday! =) =( riiight...
happy birthday (in advance).. :)
Labels: Daily Drivel
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Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Y LIFE STILL GOES ON!
no matter how painful this is, how fcuked up things are, how ironic life is, how hurt i am...
LIFE STILL GOES ON!
i'm never gonna believe the words MEN say anymore.
bravo, joanne! i think you've finally grown up! :D
for now, i'm gonna concentrate on my career. probably start planning my graduation holiday, which i'll likely to put it at the end of the year ('cause i don't have any leave yet). since he won't be the one bringing me to BKK anymore, i'll bring myself there! haha, independence! :) after the holiday, 2008 will be the time i'm gonna start thinking about getting a degree.
fcuk those future plans. fcuk those 'i'll marry you'. fcuk those 'i love you forever'. fcuk those 'i'll not let history repeat'. fcuk those 'the tears you'll ever shed will be tears of joy'. fcuk those sweet nothings!
fcuk these emoshits!
know what? i won't be so gullible anymore. i'm giving myself till the end of this week to stand up and live like i've never died before. right, of cause i never die before. tsk.
i'm STRONGER now. compared to 2 years ago.
i am still blessed. because i have the best friends anyone can have. most supportive family anyone could ask for. despite the fights at home, i know i'm always the darling girl in my parents' eyes. and a excellent sister in my brother's eyes. and with friends like li'e larling, yun, kengey, tiffy, ah dong, lee hong, froggie, eadric, and etc, how can i not be HAPPY right?
i thought it won't be easy for me, because i've collegues having the same name as him. and also, looks like him. BUT HELL, i can still cope! moreover, they are the few people whom i often hung out with. with these people, and of cause with the work loads, i feel working can take my mind off things. really. and guess what? i feel like going back Conrad to work for a few days. if not, how about going back there for a visit? li'e larling, what do you think? :P
whatever it is, i am STILL blessed. who says only MEN can make us feel happy? definitely not me. :)
i need to especially thank kengey, li'e, yun, ah dong and ead for keeping me company these few days. without all your daily RUBBISH, i won't be able to withstand this emptiness within me.
from today onwards, i'm gonna go back the time when i've not known him at all. carefree and happy. i can do it. :) as for you, i wish you all the best. :) if we've that fate, we'll meet again. till then, take care.
p.s: sorry for the crude language. :p
Labels: Inner Intentions
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Monday, May 21, 2007
Y Quoted.
quoted this from ah dong's blog.
"went to meet up the heart broken gal. We went for dinner at clarke quay. After dinner, we went for some drinking session. We went to this pub opened by nancy's friend. The story begins. This heart broken gal was drunk. and she kept repeating the same old questions to me. I was so sian of repeating the answers. But i had to. After drinking for a few hours, we went back. I had to remain concious becos i had to send this little girl home. I took the taxi with a merlion therefore, i had to go back home and wash my jeans and bag.
OMGness.. luckily the merlion did not ate much for dinner. If not the taxi would be flooded. Haha.. sorry uncle ah.. have to wash the taxi at 5am. Pity the next passenger who board the taxi. ahahaha..."
HELLO! was i that terrible??? i know i can be damn talkative when i'm tipsy. but i didn't know i was SO irritating! OMG.
OMG! that entry made me LOL somehow.
that must had been so embarrassing! :(
Labels: Uncatagorized
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Y Monday morning rain
the morning rain is making my monday blues worse.
i miss you. i really do. my phone has been ringing non-stop since saturday, but none of the messages are from the one i want to hear from. i feel like throwing my phone away, so that i can resist the urge to message you. well, i didn't okay!
good thing i'm back at work. i wanna work hard to get confirmed!
we had once said to work hard together, and i will continue to do so till we meet again.
damn, i think i'm becoming so optimistic all of a sudden. i won't be like this if it's in the past.
well, i was so tempted to go for a hair cut yesterday afternoon. chop off my long hair! i swear i really wanted to do that. in the end, i decided to do it few weeks later, because i went to catch 28 Weeks Later, which sucks, at PS with yun and elijah. of all places. -_-
i actually overslept this morning! i'm still having the after effects from saturday night. head damn pain. eyes kinda swollen, that is why, i'm wearing my damn specs at work now! heh, but i'm leaving work at 1pm today, as i've an medical appointment in the afternoon. i'm having a meeting later, and its regarding our warehouse sales over the weekend. the duty roster is out, and i'm only scheduled to work 9am to 9.30pm on friday as a cashier! my weekend's free! but i'm not celebrating marc's birthday with him anymore. ah well! :(
but well, i can't deny the fact that, i'm still very upset. this is a decision we've made, and hopefully, improve it. ah, well. :(
4days to your 24th..
Labels: Emo
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Sunday, May 20, 2007
Y Heart and Soul
it's close to 6am now.
when i'm not at the right state of mind, i do the crappiest thing. and guess what i did? i messaged Wilson, "hi" on msn, but in the end, i didn't chat with him after that. that's crap, i know. i'm still feeling not very sober right now. i know this is crap, because if i'm not sober right now, then how the hell i'm able to type all these shits now. well, i don't know.
i'm sorry. for making all of you worry just now. thanks for taking care of me just now. especially ah dong. i'm sorry for puking all over you on the cab. i may be pretty wasted, but i remembered what happened, thought not very clear. eurgh. i must had looked very unglam just now. blabbering rubbish to a guy i just knew for a day. walking like a boat sailing on de sea. and worse of all, puking all over ah dong in the cab! damn, i'm feeling terribly bad right now! sorry dong! p.s: please tell me how much $ i've to return you for the dinner, the drinks and cab alright?
well, if you all know me well, i'm not the kind of pubs or clubs person. how often do you see me go pubbing or clubbing right? but today, i had the urge to drink. i've no idea why! so i asked dong and yun out to keep me company. or rather, i've practically asked anybody i can get, but only the 2 of them was able to make it. we were at the cannery initially. walking past The Clinic, KandiBar and the taxi stand, where he used to wait for me on 2nd March, causes tears welling up in my eyes. after having our dinner at The Coffee Club, we walked to Circular Road to meet up with Nancy. yes, that girl i've been missing so much and wanting to meet up. one of the best friends i've made in Conrad. i knew her because she was Wilson's god sister back then. i missed the times we used to talk about EVERYTHING during work. i used to think differently (negatively) of people from China, but because of Nancy (right, and lu hua whom i've not talked to for a long time), my perception of the Chinese changed.
nancy was feeling down in the lumps as well, so we decided to meet up for a drink. she brought us to this KTV pub owned by her friend - LU along Circular Road. i think the place's pretty fine. we were early, as not many people were around when we stepped in. we totally owned the microphone, and began singing and singing. yun's friend, elijah (darn the spelling of his name.), joined us as well. and elijah's friend, xiao, joined us later. we were playing some drinking games.
we opened 2 bottles of Chivas, at a discounted rate. all thanks to Nancy. i don't know how much i've drank. i'm a sucker for alcohol, that's all i know. i remembered bumping into Junpeng, one of our collegues from Conrad as well. i remembered singing a few songs. i was unable to sing that high key of the song, You Ni Zhen Hao, when i went Kbox with marc 1 month ago, but today, i sang it with yun pretty well. and i've yet sang it to him like i said i will! ohwells. shrugs* and about 2 years ago, after my break up with Wilson, yun sang me Jolin's Wo Zhi Dao Ni Hen Nan Guo, and today she sang it again. well, that's a very very sad song. :( and dammit! all the emo songs kept playing! in the end, both nancy and i couldn't hold it any longer, and we broke down. btw, tonight there were 3 people who's out of love - nancy, elijah and me. that's pretty sad huh? yeah, it is.
i remembered not walking straight then. nancy and i went outta the pub, and broke down. i think i made yun and dong worried. they followed us out, i think? elijah followed too. was it xiao who looked after our stuffs? i think so. elijah had broke up with his girlfriend of 4 years few days ago. he told me alot of stuffs, i think? i think i felt like crap, blabbering some stuffs to him. and i just got to know him today! darn paiseh!
we went back into the pub aftermath. did i went on drinking? i remembered grabbing my glass and drink, but it didn't tasted like Chivas at all. was i drinking Green tea instead? i think it was Xiao or Dong who stopped me? darn, i can't remember!! the next thing i knew, i was dragged outta the pub by Dong. though i was not very well myself, i kept worrying for Yun and Nancy. i think elijah sent yun back, and nancy's friend (pub owner) sent her back. i think? as for me, obviously, ah dong dragged me back.
dong, what rubbish had i blabbered on the way back? i can't remember! and yet i had vivid images of some stuffs. and well. next thing i know, i puked in the car. i made the cab stink. worse is, i puked all over ah dong! i'm so sorry!!!!! i think dong called my brother, because when i got to my block, my brother was there waiting to bring me home. after a hot shower and a hot tea, i felt better. i can't sleep, that is why i came online. i lost my 'diary', so i came back to the blogospere. so, hello!
i think i'm a piece of crap. so totally! this is the worse thing i've ever done - getting wasted. i was never a fan of girl-getting-wasted-and-puked-all-over, as i always think that's very unglam. i can't believe i became that girl tonight! that's so... not me. damn! i'm really a piece of crap. argh, slap me please! i kept thinking about what happened to me just now, and i'm feeling so ARGH by it. dammit.
i swear this gonna be my first and last time getting so wasted. totally goners. thank goodness i've reliable friends around to rely on and taking care of me. thank goodness! i won't do this anymore! terrible feeling. the aftermath was worse! argh.
***
i know i know. it's only 1 month and 19 days. compared to some other failed relationship which lasted for years, mine is considered as no biggie. i'm not upset because of a failed and short relationship, but because of a failed ... me. i kept telling myself that the worse hurt i've met was when Wilson once told me he's getting married (after we broke up, and when i still had feelings for him), so now, this is really nothing. i mean, who can endure someone you love getting hitched with some other gal right? but i can't deceive myself, and my heart. i really can't. i do miss marc! i really do! i do want us to work. i really do! can we? i don't know!!
sometimes, i really wish to be those girls out there. so carefree. and take relationships like NO BIG DEAL. but i can't. all i want is a simple relationship. nothing complex or anything. am i that hard to please? i don't think so. you can't give me what i want, or rather, you can! just that, things changed because of a Past. maybe, everything just happened too fast. everything's just like a dream. has this 1 month 19 days been nothing but just a dream? maybe we got together on April's fool is really a JOKE itself. april's fool joke. -_- i SO hate this you know? anything good can't happen to me for good, as they'll always be taken away from me sooner or later. something like this happened to me last year too. why? tell me why! is it true that ALL GOOD THINGS WILL COME TO AN END? if really so, please let all the bad things fall on me, so it'll be for good. ha, not funny.
during the 7 days (or rather, 8 days) while he was away at Hanoi, i had told myself this, "actually i still can live without him". i had told myself this because i noticed the change in Us. but being the stubborn me, i won't give up without trying, without giving my best shot. so when he was back, i tried to be as 'normal' as i can. i was upset when i didn't get the response i wanted, but i swallowed it down and kept trying. and when we met up on wednesday, i swear we were fine! or rather, trying to be fine. in the end, it still didn't worked. why? i think it's just the Time, the Period and a Past that's making all these happened. i don't know if it's true, but that's what i can conclude. pretty sad huh?
i had planned a perfect birthday for him, but.... well. it will mean alot to me if he turns up for my graduation ceremony on 13th june, but... well. we had so many future plans which we've yet carried out, but... well. this 1 month 19 days may had been short, but.... i had put in my heart and soul. but.... well. :(
maybe a cooling off period is what we needed? more time i guess? no matter how much i missed him, i try to control. divert attention! i don't wanna allow the history to repeat, although it's beginning to repeat itself. no matter how painful this is, i have to live through it, no?
"forever is just a word, so it's i love you. but time will prove forever indeed exists and for us, we can make this love last forever. and you being part of my life is my happiness. i'll definitely give you happiness and the tears you'll ever shed will be tears of joy..."
that's the best thing i've heard in my whole life. although i told you alot of times that i don't believe in 'forever', but i swear when you said that to me, i had wanted to believe it. but well, the tears i've been crying now isn't tears of joy at all dear. guess promises are indeed meant to be broken afterall.
to you, though i know you'll never get to see this. but i've really no place to rant already.
i'm not angry. just disappointed. i really meant it each time i said 'i love you'. i really do, and still do. but guess now, certain things are not meant to be. maybe Time apart is what you and i both needed now. you know i'll always be the Joanne you first know since day 1...
we'll never know when you and i both are once again ready. you'll never know. i'll never know. and i dare not hope. take care dear...
***
dammit. i can't believe this is happening. booooooo. :(
i should get back to bed now. it's 6+ am now. i think he should be working morning shift today. shucks, that's none of your business now, jo! stop it and go to bed!
Labels: Inner Intentions
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Saturday, May 19, 2007
Y Painful
this is one of the most painful decision i've ever made in my life.
but i guess this is the best solution for both of us.
we can't foresee the future anymore. all the promises are going down the drain.
i do love you, and had put my heart and soul into this relationship. but i'm really getting very tired. i've tried every best to make things work, but well, it just won't. so..
there's really never a right time to say goodbye, my dear boy..
i gotta gotta figure out what i need
there's never a right time to say goodbye
but we know that we gotta go
our separate ways
and i know it's hard but i gotta do it,and it's killing me
cause there's never a right time
right time to say goodbye
Labels: Emo
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Thursday, May 17, 2007
Y I'll give my heart to you, I promise, that I will never lie to you boy
Come enjoy the life
Baby take ya time
I just wanna find you (you) you (you)
Baby you and I can have a good time
Tell me wat you like ooh ooh
Now listen. I've been single for awhile now.
And I been kinda lonely
I've been looking for somebody to talk to, love me, someone who can hold me
Is that you?
I'm looking for somebody I can call boo,
Looking for the only one who I can give my all to
Tell me if it's you you you
What you gonna do do do...
Make ya mooveeee
You can be my teacher i'll do homework
You can give me extra credit baby i'll do more work
What you gonna do do do...now It's me and you you you
Move...
Move so rite , how it feels so rite
You can be my prince my knight
You can be my superman save me here I am
Cuz baby, theres nothing I wont do, to spend my life with you
I'll give my love to you, I promise, that I will never lie to you boy
This love we have is true just to spend my life with you
I'll give my heart to you, I promise, that I will never lie to you boy
You and me together, picture perfect
I'll spend all my money all the time becuz your worth it
It's just me and you you you
What you gonna do do do
Make a movee
Call me momma, spoil you like a baby
Thinking bout you, dreaming bout you got me going crazy
What you gonna do do do
Now it's me and you you you
Move it
Move so rite, how it feels so rite
You can be my prince, my knight
You can be my superman, save me here I am
Theres nothing I wont do, to spend my life with you
I'll give my love to you (i'll give my all),I Promise I will never lie to you boy
This love we have is true, to spend my life with you
I'll give my heart to you (I'll give my all), I promise, I will never lie to you boy
This love we have is true, to spend my life with you
I'll give my heart to you, I promise, I will never lie to you boy
Ohhhh
I mean everything that I say
From the bottom of my heart
I will never, never, ever, hurt you
I'll open my heart
I'll open my heart and give it to you
Tell the whole world that I'm in love with you
Whatever you want, baby I'll do
I know I dont want nobody else but youuuuu
This love we have is true (there's nothing I wont do baby), to spend my life with you
I'll give my heart to you, I promise, I will never lie to you boy...oooohh
This love we have is true, to spend my life with you
I'll give my heart to you (I will give my all to you my baby boo my love is true oohhh),
I promise, I will never lie to you boy
Baby boy you got me, I been waiting waiting waiting
For you
You can be my homie, i'll be waiting waiting waiting
For you
Baby come and hold me, I'll be waiting waiting waiting
For you
You can be my one and only
***
we've been through so much. i've missed you so during the 8 days you were in Vietnam, and 2 days when you're at work. when we finally got to meet, i had so much fun with you. it was such a special getaway with you yesternight. i love you baby!
***
eadric and yun were SO lame last night. while i'm out with marc, look at what ead mms-ed me. they were disturbing my date PLUS showing off the food. i didn't know i've such lame friends. sorry yun. i can't help it, but laughed. :x HAHA!
before..
and after...
p.s.: i am so sleepy right now. i got home only at 2am this morning. slept for merely 4hours. but, everything's so worth it. :)
Baby take ya time
I just wanna find you (you) you (you)
Baby you and I can have a good time
Tell me wat you like ooh ooh
Now listen. I've been single for awhile now.
And I been kinda lonely
I've been looking for somebody to talk to, love me, someone who can hold me
Is that you?
I'm looking for somebody I can call boo,
Looking for the only one who I can give my all to
Tell me if it's you you you
What you gonna do do do...
Make ya mooveeee
You can be my teacher i'll do homework
You can give me extra credit baby i'll do more work
What you gonna do do do...now It's me and you you you
Move...
Move so rite , how it feels so rite
You can be my prince my knight
You can be my superman save me here I am
Cuz baby, theres nothing I wont do, to spend my life with you
I'll give my love to you, I promise, that I will never lie to you boy
This love we have is true just to spend my life with you
I'll give my heart to you, I promise, that I will never lie to you boy
You and me together, picture perfect
I'll spend all my money all the time becuz your worth it
It's just me and you you you
What you gonna do do do
Make a movee
Call me momma, spoil you like a baby
Thinking bout you, dreaming bout you got me going crazy
What you gonna do do do
Now it's me and you you you
Move it
Move so rite, how it feels so rite
You can be my prince, my knight
You can be my superman, save me here I am
Theres nothing I wont do, to spend my life with you
I'll give my love to you (i'll give my all),I Promise I will never lie to you boy
This love we have is true, to spend my life with you
I'll give my heart to you (I'll give my all), I promise, I will never lie to you boy
This love we have is true, to spend my life with you
I'll give my heart to you, I promise, I will never lie to you boy
Ohhhh
I mean everything that I say
From the bottom of my heart
I will never, never, ever, hurt you
I'll open my heart
I'll open my heart and give it to you
Tell the whole world that I'm in love with you
Whatever you want, baby I'll do
I know I dont want nobody else but youuuuu
This love we have is true (there's nothing I wont do baby), to spend my life with you
I'll give my heart to you, I promise, I will never lie to you boy...oooohh
This love we have is true, to spend my life with you
I'll give my heart to you (I will give my all to you my baby boo my love is true oohhh),
I promise, I will never lie to you boy
Baby boy you got me, I been waiting waiting waiting
For you
You can be my homie, i'll be waiting waiting waiting
For you
Baby come and hold me, I'll be waiting waiting waiting
For you
You can be my one and only
***
we've been through so much. i've missed you so during the 8 days you were in Vietnam, and 2 days when you're at work. when we finally got to meet, i had so much fun with you. it was such a special getaway with you yesternight. i love you baby!
***
eadric and yun were SO lame last night. while i'm out with marc, look at what ead mms-ed me. they were disturbing my date PLUS showing off the food. i didn't know i've such lame friends. sorry yun. i can't help it, but laughed. :x HAHA!
before..
and after...
p.s.: i am so sleepy right now. i got home only at 2am this morning. slept for merely 4hours. but, everything's so worth it. :)
Labels: Jukebox, Picnic of Love
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Y Lame shits!
i think we are really 4 bo liao people! especially me.
HAHAHAHA!
[click to enlarge]
I'M SO BORED!
less than 2 hours more, before i'm off to meet my babyyyyyyyyy~~~ :D
Labels: random
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Monday, May 14, 2007
Y Landed!
23:35 TR309 Hanoi Landed 00:15 !
YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! darling boy's flight was delayed earlier, as it was scheduled to land at 11.35pm. make me so panic, and sleepy. hahaha!
well, i'm off to wait for his phone call. 7 DAYS of separation! please tell me we'll be back to normal after this! :D toodles~
Labels: Picnic of Love
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Y Great meet-up with the girls.
it was an awesome meet-up with the girls last night. i had thought it's gonna be just froggie and i meeting up, because froggie wanted to pass me some gifts she got for me from Taiwan, but turns out lee hong and yun were able to make it afterall. marina square was where we chose to gather. being at that area, just makes me feel ever so nostalgic. it's forever this way, and i don't know when will the feeling be gone. it's not entirely because of the Past (with a capital 'P'), but because i missed working in Conrad.
digressing, i absolutely missed the fun times i had while working as a part-time banquet waitress. i know it's tiring and all, but it's still the best time of my working life. from watching the smiling newly-wed couples in all the wedding dinner i served in to nibbling the food at the back area discreetly. don't you girls missed all of that too? i do! :(
alright, side-tracked a little. i had a great chat with lee hong while waiting for yun and froggie. once everyone's present, we went to Pizzahut for our meal. man, we girls sure can eat! hahahaha! we ordered one table full of food, and gobbled everything down. i totally don't give a damn to the glances the guys at the table next to us are giving. haha! i felt damn bloated aftermath. i had a greeeeeaaaat time eating and laughing with these girls. teehee! :D
1 regular pan splitzza. 2 meatball dishes. 1 garlic bread. 8 sweet&sour drumlets. 2 soup-of-the-day. YUMMMMY!
some unglam pictures of the girls whom had made my Friday night so enjoyable. HEE!
after the heavy meal, which we took about 2 hours to finish, we went to roam around the mall awhile, before walking towards the MRT station.
finally, we left the place at about 10pm. i had wanted to stay out longer, but yun and lee hong are working the next day morning, so yay, we decided to call it a day and head home. i really enjoyed myself with them, and hope to meet up with these girls again soon.
pictures!!
yun and i. yay yay, i've fat cheeks. -_-
while waitin' for our dear frog... haha!
our many attempts to get a perfect picture. hahaha! so which is the most perfect? LOL.
wokay! some random stuffs.
alrighty, i'm gonna go do some stuffs now. in case you guys forget how i looked like...
well, it's just so that i wore the same top as the one on my blog's display picture. haha! :)
my latest obsession - RED!
dear, i miss you. i really do. these 7 days make me realise what really is 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'. :)
Labels: Family/Friends
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The Lady
Joanne; twenty-one; 16jan'87
EMAIL ;j_o4nn3@yahoo.com.sg
MSNSPACE ;
my space @ msn
FRIENDSTER
http://friendster.com/joanneeMULTIPLY ;
my photo album @ multiply
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