Monday, June 11, 2007
Y Goodbye.
i swear i was totally crazy. i treated you with my heart, both when you were my boyfriend and when you are my friend, and this is what i get. i meant what i said earlier on, and this is it. farewell to you, marcus! you are worse than a jerk! you forced me into this. Labels: Inner Intentions, Nostalgic, Whinings/iRant
everyone who knows me, know i hate having enemies. that is why i don't like hating people. even though wilson treated me like shit too, i never hated him. so why should i hate you? it will only be a waste of my precious time. i'm just mad at you. this anger won't last i know, but still, good bye to you!
right from day one since we knew each other, you appeared to be a fine gentleman and all. you assured me that you are nothing like that jerk, and now you lied. when we're going into our 3rd week, your true colours slowly shows. being the naive me, always think love's like a fairytale and everything can be solved with a little sugar and spice, but hell, i was wrong! 1 month and 19days! we merely started, and we've ended.
you spoilt my being-single-for-18-months record! now i'm gonna start all over again! like, what the heck? BLOODY HELL! GO AWAY, ALL OF YOU JERKS! ALL OF YOU ARE SO CHILDISH CHILDISH, SO CHILDISH AND SO UNMANLY!
to hell with all the FOREVER shits. what ENDLESS LOVE? you promised so much SHIT. you showered with so much HONEY. oh haha, i almost got diabetes! blame it on me for being so STUPID to take it in. you had me on! we are really over! HA HA HA HA. this is such a joke! LAUGH, PEOPLE! LAUGH PLEASE! THIS IS SO SO SO SO SO HILARIOUS!!!!!
SMART-ASS JOANNE IS A DUMB ASS!
HA HA HA!
tell me i'm wrong! because your silence is the only reason to come to this conclusion.
but, know what? i really don't wish to say this. but one day, all of these jerks will get their retribution!!
FUCK. oh wait, what did i just said?
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can i just turn back the freakin' time?
even though i mourned about the lost love between wilson and i for years, but i was HAPPY. because i had wonderful friends at school, at work, at everywhere.
i missed the joy i used to have. i want to have them BACK!
i wanna relive that again. i'm sure i can! because i'm so gonna do that this wednesday!
i missed the times we had in school. grabbing sandwiches from the atrium. walking to class together. talking non-stop with li'e and froggie right under our teacher's nose. rushing assignments. struggling together. staying in school till late. having our da pau takeaways. blasting songs in class (though my laptop's volume always loses out). thumbdrive/hdd songs, movies, and whathaveyou. i missed w01 SO much! i had the best girlfriends in class! best guys classmates anyone can ask for, treating us like real sisters! other than those people of w01, i've made great friends from NP as well. lee hong, yun (tho we're having some problems now, but still.. yay), ben kong, etc.
i missed the times we had working as banquet waitresses too. be it in conrad, pan pac or meritus! i just missed the carefree part being just a part-timer. in conrad, we were disciplined, with a tinge of playfulness. haha! though i hated ramesh, but it was him who made me the VIP server. oh no, it should be vicki. yes, being a VIP server is no biggie, but that made me learnt slightly more being a better waitress. right larling? hee. we definitely missed the times we ate non-stop! i missed the aloe vera dessert, which definitely tasted better than the one wilson made for me. i missed the times when teckson, our favourite barman who seemed to have disappeared into thin air, will hide dishes in the bar fridge area for us to eat after function! oh, and the times we worked in pan pac executive floor, where we'll work and eat, work and eat. as well as meritus, where we served and ate 9 courses! and hide behind doors or curtains, just to avoid serving cocktails! missed all the friends we made in conrad and meritus. jing xuan, uncle kok hwa, brother jimmy, teckson, marhaini, steve oh, jasmine, samantha, lulu, lujia, phoebe, lu hua, nancy, han xue, xiao ming, B'en(meritus), and alright, zhi ling.
and of cause, i missed all my old friends. good thing i'm still in touch with most of them, but hell, i wanna meet up with them too. especially tiffy! it's been a couple of years man. but we're really consistent with our emails. keep the mails going, girl. and i can't wait to meet you up in July. :)
darn, i don't wanna grow up!!!!
wondering why i'm reminiscing all that? because i'm trying to neutralize my emotions. i don't deny i'm upset about what had happened, but well, life goes on. my life is still very colourful, with wonderful people around me. it's something not everyone's blessed with. so i must learn to be contented.
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i've decided to go ahead with my major decision. thank you, larling, for analysing for me, and supporting me. i know what i wanna do already. :)
ben kong thinks i'm losing faith in relationship. no, i won't. but for the time being, i've better things to think about - my future and my career. hence, to hell with MEN! :) that can wait for now, although i won't give up that dream of marrying young. HAHAHAHAA! but well, things are destined. everything happens for a reason. :)
from tomorrow onwards, i'm gonna wake up thinking about how glad i am to be alive now, and definitely not about how upset it is that our relationship have to fail at this point of time.
LIFE'S A CHOICE! right, eadric? HAHAHA.
i am still happy. i will be. :)
for example: be obsessed with online shopping. that's what li'e and i have been doing today! we are crazy! :x

Joanne; twenty-one; 16jan'87
j_o4nn3@yahoo.com.sg
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