Thursday, August 23, 2007
Y Reality's replaced you with the biggest emptiness...
upon reading one of yun's recent blog entries, i have this strong and weird gush of emotion. i haven't been blogging alot about my heart affairs, but tonight, i decided to share and let things go, once and for all.
as quoted,
我突然满脑子都是你的影子。你的笑声，你的声音，你的微笑，你的头发，你身上的味道，你的一切一切。 我仿佛回到了我们在一起的时光。虽是短暂，但是如此的美好。
i haven't been thinking much about Marc lately. maybe that's what they meant by "out of sight, out of mind", and that, surprisingly, works for me. it's been 3 months odd, and the pain has subsided, somehow. for those who're close to me will definitely know he's still not completely outta my mind, but yay, i've been too caught up with things to really go think about it.
untill tonight.
during the courtship days, he entered and disappeared from my life time after time (apparently, he likes playing MIA). i took in his words time after time. it's untill the 3rd disappearance, which is of late, that i decided to disappear from his life as well. we've been completely out of each other's lives for 3 months. and i'm trying to erase him from my life. even though i still talk about him occasionally, i no longer feel that pang of heartache anymore. it's a decision we've made, and so, i can't regret one bit, no?
yes, i don't deny i still can't bring myself to visit places we've been together. i won't deny that it's him that i thought of whenever i saw a grey mitsubishi lancer driving past, which i'll usually check out the license plate to see if it's him. i won't deny that certain songs (you ni zhen hao) still reminds me of him. and like i said, i no longer feel that pang of heartache anymore. it's just.. nostalgia.
no matter what. i'm really thankful to all my dear friends who has made this period of time so much bearable. supportive besties like li'e and tiffany who constantly encourage and keep me company. my favourite chat buddy, eadric, who is crappy but gives great advices. irritating dong who's always available for me to ask to company me for lunch or doing stupid things nearby. my hao xiong di's', han de, martin & co, who always invite me to join them for touring. and a bunch of wonderful colleagues who made my working hours so so so bearable. of cause not forgetting, many other friends who has been really supportive and nice to me all this while. yun, froggie, lee hong, lye hong, etc. for that, i think it'll take me forever to name everyone and everything.
sigh. changes are indeed inevitable. for that, i think i've changed. to the worst or better?
you shall be the judge.
Labels: Inner Intentions
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The Lady
Joanne; twenty-one; 16jan'87
EMAIL ;j_o4nn3@yahoo.com.sg
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