Monday, July 24, 2006
Y i wanna grow up!
shucks, monday blues. T.T oh man. it's the dreadful NAPFA tomorrow evening. my thigh muscles are still aching from yesterday's work. and i'll probably drop dead after my 2.4km run. goodluck to me eh? -_-
woke up this morning feeling really damn lethargic. got ready and went to school to meet froggie at 10am. we had our MBA project demo scheduled at 10.30am in our practical classroom. we were on the dot, and anand was already in the classroom waiting for us when we got there. we began with the demo with me showing anand how our application works. i'm glad he did not prompt us with as many questions as our ECAD tutor did. apart from one area which we failed to do so, anand says our application was okay. the demo was short and brief, and i hope our results will turn out fine next week.
went home straight after that. lame right? i went to school for 15minutes and that's it. came home, watched my dramas and took a nap before i went out again at 3ish. met up with li'e at 4pm, and i followed her to pan pac to collect her pay. then she accompanied me to check out some stuffs in suntec. i found it, but it's not the colour that i want and it's way too costly. i'm still considering. perhaps i'll look for more choices before i decide which to get. sighs* oh, and i think i better go do some research on it before i go look around more.
alright, we took 111 down to meritus to collect our pay after that. had wanted to go home after that, but i don't felt like going home early. hence, we had our dinner outside and we ate at pastamania. dragged li'e to kinokuniya to check out some comics after that. oh man, i feel like collecting another series of comics, but there's already 12 volumes now and it has not ended. it costs 5 bucks per copy. $5 X 12 = $60! plus there's more not out yet. ohwells. i'm on a tight budget recently, so forget it. ):
we sort of became studious all of a sudden, thus we went up to libray @ orchard. browsed through some books, and i loan some back home. we were in the library for quite long man. i was looking through some handicrafts, cookery and health books. hahaha! i'm getting inspirations everywhere man. and damn, i badly wanna learn Yoga. probably gonna read up some stuffs on it, then maybe i'll consider signing up classes with li'e. provided we can find time for it. i feel like learning new things lah. to make myself even more occupied.
left the library at 7ish, and we walked to the mrt station. on the way, we went into some shops to look at the formal wears. li'e and i tried some, and i think the stripes one wasn't that bad. haha, i had always thought stripes blouse will look old on me, but it's not that bad lah. (: well, i don't need that for the time being anyway, 'cause i've got a white one for this friday already. (: hmm, we went home after that.
recently, i'm watching a new korean drama - Only You. a VERY nice show. i seriously think i'm a drama addict. my exams are approaching and i ain't revising yet. i can't resist the temptation to watch all that man. because that's the only thing i can do to take my mind off my woes. i guess. BUT, i'm gonna read up the books i borrowed today for a change now. i wanna practice YOGA. hurhur. :x
___________________________________________
lately, i find myself in a mess. i don't know why, but seems like my mind is caught up in this chaos that i can't fight. this thing has taken its toll on me. alot of things are on my mind recently. each para below are refering to different issues btw.
\\ i'm confused. i don't know what is it that i want. suddenly, i wanna turn back the hands of time. ya, i know in life we should look forward and not backwards, but this time round, i wanna look back and see what had i done wrong and try to change from there. and suddenly, i wanna see you. i wanna you to guide me through and bring me back on track again. you made me a grown up, and taught me how to think and act like one. i learnt alot from you, even though you had been someone that everyone hated. but you're different in my eyes. you had supported me alot in the past, and i badly wants you back in my life again, as a friend. but that's somehow really impossible. guess i'll never be able to see you again.
\\ i've told myself that is gonna be the last thing i'm gonna do for him, and that's it. i don't wanna me to commit the same mistake again. however, i learnt something from this incident. that is i'll never let myself to be an easy prey for anybody anymore. i'm getting tired.
\\ sometimes i can't wait to grow up. unlike people like froggie, who is afraid of hitting 20. for me, i can't wait! i don't deny that i'm afraid of turning old and all, but at the same time, i wanna know what my future holds. what will i be after i graduate? what's gonna be my future career? what's my dream career? no, i doubt i'll be career minded. as quoted from someone, i'm more of a xiao nu ren. i'm a family person. i wonder how's my husband gonna be like? how and where we gonna hold our wedding? how will our kids be like? is giving birth really as painful YET joyful as some women (like what dai xuan told me) told me it is? what kind of family will we be building? how old will i be able to live until? yes, all these things i can't wait to know! i wanna grow up and tall! sighs*
there's just so many things i wanna learn and pursue. will everything just be another facade?
yaya, people may be laughing at me right now. but that's exactly what's on my mind recently.
ohwells.
life's such a irony. a struggle.
Joanne; twenty-one; 16jan'87
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