youhavestolenmyheart.

Friday, October 28, 2005

The current mood of littlebobdog40@hotmail.com at

www.imood.com

Y n.u.m.b

boo. in just a few hours' time, my larling's flight will touch down changi airport. i can't wait to see her, and tell her what happened today! it has been an eventful day for me. hmm. this afternoon at 2ish, larling texted me telling me that she's already at the airport in states. and now, i bet she's on the way to Hongkong for her stopover. wonder if she'll call me later. teehee. i felt a lil down in the lumps earlier, but luckily i had neeky for company. WAHAHA. funny that we're chatting so much. hmm. (:

today. work has been stressful and tiring for me. reached conrad with nehnehpok slightly earlier, and we took our time to change and eat. ate dinner with teckson today and we bitched together. haha, he's SOO FUNNY! :x right nehnehpok? lol. alright. at 6pm, we went to report in the ballroom. and when i opened the door, i was greeted by zul with a new name given to me. "SMALL GIRL". throughout the night, that's my name given by him. and i called him "big boy". haha! and he thinks i'm always smiling, and that my smile is cheeky. hmmm. lol.

ramesh was the in-charge, but jasmine gave briefing. there were 3 new staffs today, and one of them, ronan, happened to be my schoolmate. haha, he's actually yan ting's classmate. we talked and knew each other. i kept disturbing him, and he was blushing. teehee. right, while jasmine was assigning us the tables. she pointed at me and told me to go help xia yun with the VIP table, which means i'm gonna be the VIP server tonight. at that moment, i thought of larling. i don't know why. frankly, i've never liked been a VIP server at all, because the attention you get from the rest is so different and i hate that. but ohwells, i don't know in future if things will be the same.

so yay. xia yun is still quite new to being a VIP server, but she has been guiding me through pretty well, though at times it's hard for me to understand what's she's talking, because of her cheena accent lah. :x aftermath, we took turns to go and change into our VIP wear, black cheong sam. as i'm still new, and we were asked to take turns to go and change instead of going together, so she went first and prepared my set for me at the housekeeping. know what? i already took the SMALLEST size already, and it's still uber big and long for me. i had to fold up my skirt two times, and the slit is damn high at my thigh there, like what larling once told me. my sleeve was long. i had to walk carefully, as i'll tend to step onto my own skirt at times. haha, too long lah! o.o

after i've changed, i went back to do other stuffs. nehnehpok then told me something, which got my legs shook a little. but i was still okay, until i saw it with my own eyes later in the night. alright, dinner began at 8ish. xia yun stayed in the ballroom during first march-in, whereas i went to the back to pick up platters. during the first course presentation, we were the last to enter. both of us came out from two sides from the backlane, then went up the stage, meet and down the stage together. and then we presented our food. wah lao, i was so afraid i will trip while going down the stage lah. but luckily, i was careful enough. phew*

presented our food, and started serving the individual platters. throughout the dinner, we had jasmine to help us do portioning. basically all we had to do was to serve and give tip-top service to the bridal and vip table guests. it was rather stressful initially. my fringe began falling, and jasmine came and pat my back and asked if i'm okay. haha! she told me to get used to it slowly. and when i went to the bar to take drinks, teckson and ramesh were saying i was perspiring. ya meh? haha.

right before 2nd march-in, i saw him and another girl. it was his off day, so he's in his home clothes. i saw him after i picked up a drink from the bar, turned and saw this familiar figure walking in front of me. very close in front. i didn't notice it was him, until i saw that shirt which i've always liked seeing him in, pants which he bought from taiwan and shoes which he always wear. my heart stopped. my heart broke when i saw the way he led the girl's way. just right in front of me. i can't do anything, so i just walked past them and serve my drink. they were standing at the south room door area. i'm not sure what were they doing there, but i noticed that girl was taking pictures of the 2nd march-in. i felt thankful that i have slight night blindness, so i couldn't see clearly everything when the ballroom's light was dim.

jasmine was beside me when xia yun and i stood by the stage to standby. she was telling me that he's actually not supposed to come into ballroom like that. hmm. patrick was nearby, so i talked to him. and he calmed me down and tried to cheer me up. all i knew was that, my shoulders were shaking, hands were cold and legs became jelly. first it was because of what i saw, and second was because i'm nervous about being the VIP server. i heard so many things about him, about what he introduced that girl as. about the girl's not local. zaeid and teckson were asking if i'm okay. HELLO, i'm strong alright. zaeid was telling me that he's doing that on purpose. to show me. wells, really? i don't know and don't care. i admit i was upset, and thoughts were invading my mind and stuffs. but i kept telling myself that this will not bring me down anymore. NOT ANYMORE!

anyhows, during the toasting, berry guided me and told me what to do and all. i went up the stage, using my round tray to cover my skirt's slit while walking the steps (haha), and took the champagne glasses from berry and began distributing to the couple's relatives. we have to make sure everyone has a glass before they began toasting. the yum-seng, ya'll know. haha! after their 3 toasts, we had to clear their glasses. while i'm on stage, my legs were shaking. i saw the shape of him and that girl only, because of my slight night blindness lah. yay.

after the 2nd march-in, they were no where in sight already. so dinner went on smoothly. after that, we had to standby outside with hot tea and face towels, before i went back the ballroom to clear our tables. carried in a few oval trays, and BIG BOY was cheering me on. haha! actually only xia yun had to take the food to the couple's room, but ramesh asked me to follow her today. i helped to carry the couple's wedding photo albums, and we went up to 27th floor to their room. teehee. the room's spacious and nice. :x after we put down everything, the groom shook our hands and thanked us... AND GAVE US TIPS! tsktsk. it's 2bucks only. aiya, better than nothing. xia yun told me there's once she got a 10bucks tips. woots! :x

went back to the ballroom to do turnover after that. on the way, xia yun and i had a little talk. she was telling me about the problems that she's facing being in a relationship with a black jacket. oh, she's with steve OPENLY. i decided to tell her about my once relationship with a black jacket too. i never tell him who, and she did not ask much too. i was just sharing what's the problems and stress. she feels enlightened tho. (:

berry gave us the turn over instructions. was with han xue, ronan and abigail to pretray for tomorrow's dinner. we were slacking at the back. i'm surprised that i still can enjoy so much after what happened earlier. wells, i guess it's because i'm too numb to feel anything. right nnp? yay. at 12am, berry was asking who wanna stay and don't want to. i wanna stay because i want more money, so i dragged nnp to stay with me. han xue too. after that, did other stupid stuffs. while getting one basket from the stewarding, a whole stack of baskets fell and hit my head. WAH, pain! :/ argh. then we helped out ramesh at the foyer. and this time, nnp hit her head! lol, we're 2 clumsy asses today. :x

and at about 2am, we were signed out after i'm done changing the signage. went to change, and took the 2.30am taxi. the cab i took went to sims drive (berry), aljunied (aunty mary), AMK (han xue), before it's my turn. i reached home only at 3.30am man. crazy! zzz. surprisingly, i'm not feeling that tired at all. i feel like NOT sleeping and wait for larling's call when she's at HK. hmm. it's 5.20am already anyways, and she'll be in HK at about 6 i think? but neeky's waiting for me to sleep before he will go and sleep, as he's afraid i'll anyhow think. haha! think, i will lah. but i'm still okay. perhaps i'll just lie on my bed awhile.

to be frank, i did feel the hurt when i saw what i saw today. maybe like what he once told me what he'll do. i don't know who's that girl but all i can say is that, yay, he's moving on well. i should be happy for him, just like how i was happy for jae and michelle, no? yay, i'll be happy for him if he's happy too. something about me is that, if i happened to know that he has moved on, i'll tend to imagine him treating another girl the way he treated me in the past, the TLC, and will feel upset about it. but for now, i try not to think. i did tried. but there's one thing i can't help but felt upset. didn't know he can change so fast. it has been only 3 weeks! he's so different. he wasn't what i first know him. it's just so different. so foreign. sigh, told yun and neeky about what i'm feeling just now and guess i'm feeling slightly better already. neeky has been real nice to keep me company and make me smile. thanks boy. (: ohwells, it's REALLY time to move on with life, tho i know i'll never forget him and the hurt he caused me. never.

i can't help but think about this. altho the hurt jae once caused me was deep and painful. all the lies and the hopes he gave me. recalling that, i still feel the pinch of pain in my heart. but he is still nice to me. be my good friend and is always there to talk to me. he will feel bad about how he treated me. he is still very considerate towards my feelings, and also his own. regardless of the pain, i am still glad that he has finally found what he wanted all the while. i'm glad for him. unlike him, i don't know why he won't even feel bad about hurting me the way he did. well, that's what i thought so. is he really what everyone are telling me he is? is he what he really told me he is? how come he's a totally changed person overnight? can i still believe in my own beliefs? can i? i don't know about that anymore. nah, i won't hate him. i never hated anyone before. have i? i'll still wish him all the best. yay.. sigh.

like what everyone said, it's time to let go and time to move on. yay, i guess so. i don't wanna feel anymore. i can't feel anymore. sigh. let time heals bah. meanwhile, i can't wait for school to begin. yay. sometimes, i'm afraid when someone treats me too nice that i'll fall. i don't wish to, as rebound was never my style.

sigh. this is the last time. after telling larling about it tomorrow, and that's it. brand new start for me. i hope i can do it this time.. give me strength. wells, i believe i'm strong then i will be. yay..

sigh. it's 5.40am already.

Labels: Emo, Work